"Please, keep writing," my grandfather said to me, his voice wavering with emotion and his eyes brimming with tears. He held me so tight against his body that I feared his 81-year-old body might crack from the pressure."I will. I promise," I said, feeling light-headed and confused that the nonsense I wrote on my blog could mean that much to anyone other than me.
That was four months ago. And until tonight, I hadn't written anything outside of work. I've written 100-page marketing plans, press releases, bylined articles and everything in-between. But the creative voice that is usually boiling up from inside of me has been silent and unmoving. I've written nothing for me.
My old blog -- which was a fun experiment and a creative outlet for awhile -- lapsed. I got lazy. I got busy. So, I didn't write. I didn't keep the promise to my grandfather and -- most importantly -- I didn't keep my promise to myself: to be a writer.
My whole life, I've been a writer. When I was six years old, I wrote stories about red-eyed people and mermaids that I tucked away in a lime-green pocket folder that had a picture of a koala on the front. When I was in middle school, my teacher "published" a 100-page novella I wrote about a family with 12 kids and put it in the school library (years later, my sister and her friends found it and declared they "loved" it). In high school, I continued to write short stories and was praised for my "college-level" explications of poems. In college, I wrote bad poetry when I was in love and had my pieces read aloud as examples in my creative writing classes. And throughout my 20's, I looked back on my life with one regret: that I wasn't a professional writer. Because I'd always felt that was my destiny.
But I continued to write for me. For fun. Until I stopped. And everyone -- including my grandfather -- asked me why.
So, when Jeremy asked me to start writing for this blog, I didn't miss a beat before answering "yes." And here I am.
I'm still not sure what I am supposed to be writing. I am unclear on the goals of this blog. But when you are a writer -- when prose and paragraphs and ideas fly through your brain at all times of the day -- and someone asks you to spill your guts and share your thoughts in a creative forum, you say "yes." So, here I am.
I promise to be entertaining, emotional, honest, snarky and fun. I promise to be real and let you get to know me. And I promise to write consistently.
Most importantly, I need to keep a simple promise I made four months ago: to just keep writing.
As always Randi - it is a pleasure working with you!!
ReplyDelete